Domestic Violence Series for Oct 1, 2020 "How to Leave an Abusive Relationship" (Part 2A) S15

[Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

Domestic Violence Series (Part 2)

 Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse Continued:

VIII. How to Leave an Abusive Relationship – (Part 2A)

Getting Ready to Leave:

• Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures, etc.
• Know where you can go to get help; tell someone what is happening to you.
• If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.
• Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them (for example, a room with a lock or a friend's house where they can go for help). Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.
• Contact your local battered women's shelter and find out about laws and other resources available to you before you have to use them during a crisis.
• Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made if possible.
• Acquire job skills as you can, such as learning to type or taking courses at a community college.
• Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you.

General Guidelines for Leaving an Abusive Relationship:

• Make a plan for how and where you will escape.
• Hide an extra set of car keys.
• If you need to sneak away, be prepared.
• You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave
• Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend or neighbor's house. Try to avoid using next-door neighbors, close family members and mutual friends.
• Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items, including:
  • Driver's license.
  • Regularly needed medication.
  • List of credit cards held by self or jointly or the credit cards themselves if you have access to them.
  • Pay stubs checkbooks, information about bank accounts and other assets.

If time is available, also take:

• Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.).
• Titles, deeds, and other property information.
• Medical records.
• Children's school and immunization records.
• Insurance information.
• Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will, and other legal documents.
• Verification of social security numbers.
• Welfare identification.
• Valued pictures, jewelry, or personal possessions.
• Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies, and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate. Ask questions that require a call back to your house in order to leave phone numbers on record.

Click here for PDF version of DV Series S15, Oct 1, 2020

Click below for previous sessions:

PDF version of DV Series S1, June 25, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S2, July 2, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S3, July 9, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S4, July 16, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S5, July 23, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S6, July 30, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S7, August 6, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S8, August 13, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S9, August 20, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S10, August 27, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S11, Sept 3, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S12, Sept 10, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S13, Sept 17, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S14, Sept 24, 2020

Next section posted will be “Domestic Violence Series” – Section VIII – Part 2B – “Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse” – “How to Leave an Abusive Relationship – After Leaving the Abusive Relationship” on Thursday, October 8^th. 

Shalom,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks