What Is Domestic Violence & Abuse?

[Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

Abused Woman Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box 490562

Leesburg, FL 34749-0562

[e-mail] - Email

www.abusedwoman.org - Web Site                                                                                     

 

 

 Domestic Violence

 

 

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is a violent confrontation between family or household members involving physical harm, sexual assault, or fear of physical harm. Family or household members include spouses / former spouses, those in (or formerly in) a dating relationship, adults related by blood or marriage, and those who have a biological or legal parent-child relationship. Domestic violence destroys the home. No one deserves to be abused. The responsibility for the violence belongs to the abuser. It is not the victim's fault!

 

Symptoms of Abuse - Misuse of Power And Control 

Abuse in a relationship is any act used to gain power and control over another person. Women who are abused physically are often isolated. Their partners tend to control their lives to a great extent as well as verbally degrade them. 

 

Listed below are some of the warning signs of domestic abuse. Look to see if there are multiple warning signs that are occurring in your life.

 

USING PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL ABUSE

Hair pulling, biting, shaking, pushing, pinching, choking, kicking, confinement, slapping, hitting, punching, using weapons, forced intercourse, unwanted sexual touching in public or in private and depriving her of food or sleep. 

 

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Insulting her in public or in private 

Putting down her friends and family 

Making her feel bad about herself 

Calling her names 

Making her think she's crazy 

Playing mind games 

Humiliating her 

Making her feel guilty 

Using Male Privilege; acting like "Master of the Castle" 

Treating her like a servant 

Making all the big decisions 

Being the one to define men's and women's roles.

 

USING ECONOMIC ABUSE

Preventing her from getting or keeping a job 

Making her ask for money 

Giving her an allowance 

Taking her money 

Not letting her know about or have access to family income 

Not allowing her a voice in important financial decisions 

Demanding exclusive control over household finances.

 

USING COERCION AND THREATS

Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her 

Threatening to leave her, or to commit suicide 

Threatening to report her to welfare 

Making her drop charges 

Making her do illegal things.

 

USING INTIMIDATION

Making her afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions 

Throwing or smashing things, destroying property 

Abusing pets 

Dangerous driving 

Displaying weapons.

 

USING CHILDREN

Making her feel guilty about the children 

Using the children to relay messages 

Using visitation to harass her 

Threatening to take the children away.

 

USING ISOLATION

Controlling what she does, who she sees, what she reads, & where she goes 

Limiting her outside involvement 

Refusing to let her learn to drive, go to school, or get a job 

Not allowing her to freely use the car or the telephone.

 

USING JEALOUSY AND BLAME TO JUSTIFY ACTIONS

Minimizing, Denying, Blaming 

Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously 

Checking up on where she's been or who she's talked to 

Accusing her of infidelity 

Saying the abuse didn't happen 

Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior 

Saying she caused it.

 

Fast Facts About Domestic Violence (Info is from 2009 when I first posted message)

 

Battering on women is the most under reported crime in America.

 

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States; more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. "Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report," Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p.3.

 

Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers. "Women and Violence," Hearings before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee, August 29 and December 11, 1990, Senate Hearing 101-939, pt. 1, p. 12.

 

One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991.

 

About 1 out of 4 women are likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime. Sara Glazer, "Violence, Against Women" CO Researcher, Congressional Quarterly, Inc., Volume 3, Number 8, February, 1993, p. 171.

 

Approximately 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women. Statistics, National Clearinghouse for the Defense of Battered Women, Ruth Peachey, M.D. 1988.

 

Police report that between 40% and 60% of the calls they receive, especially on the night shift, are domestic violence disputes. Carrillo, Roxann "Violence Against Women: An Obstacle to Development," Human Development Report, 1990.

Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.

 

Fifty percent of all homeless women and children in this country are fleeing domestic violence. Senator Joseph Biden, U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Violence Against Women: Victims of the System, 1991.

 

A battering incident is rarely an isolated event.

 

Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.

 

Many batterers learned violent behavior growing up in an abusive family.

25% - 45% of all women who are battered are battered during pregnancy.

 

Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.

 

Domestic violence is not only physical and sexual violence but also psychological. Psychological violence means intense and repetitive degradation, creating isolation, and controlling the actions or behaviors of the spouse through intimidation or manipulation to the detriment of the individual. "Five Year State Master Plan for the Prevention of and Service for Domestic Violence." Utah State Department of Human Services, January 1994.

 

Note: This information is taken from www. http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/what.htm