AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program: Getting the After Effects of Violence & Abuse" Session One Part 1C Oct 15, 2013

[Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program Agenda Session One Part 1C – Oct 15, 2013

 

1. Start session with prayer – ask Holy Spirit to give you understanding and give you inner healing

 

2. Study each part of session highlighted – this program as well as the other ones focus on healing of the spirit, soul, & body

 

3. Rap Up – write down any questions you may have and send them to me before the next part is sent to you on Tuesday Oct 22, 2013

 

4. Homework: complete any homework for this session and return to me before next Tuesday Oct 22, 2013

 

5. Close in Prayer – just pray what you feel in your heart

 

6. NEXT PART WILL BE POSTED TUESDAY OCTOBER 22ND

 

 

        Violence & Abuse Recovery Program

Lesson: Session One – Part 1C – Study This

 

Open in prayer: Father I thank You for giving these group members Your wisdom, knowledge and understanding as they study this teaching; help them to recover completely in the Name of Jesus, Amen!

 

Session One’s Goal: to define Violence & Abuse

• List Types of Abuse – Part 1A  - Oct 1st
• Define each type – Part 1A - Oct 1st
• Discuss the Cause & Effect of Abuse – Part 1B - Oct 8th
• Discuss the Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse – Part 1C - Oct 15th
• Explain God’s final word on generational sin (Ezekiel 18) – Part 1D  
• Closing Scriptures & Prayers Against Domestic Violence – Part 1D 

 

The Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse: Oct 15th

Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

• Abuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss."

 

• Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.

• Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior—anything to avoid taking responsibility.

 

• "Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.

 

• Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.

 

• Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing you.

 

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.

 

The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example

A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up.

Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

 

Click here for PDF version of Session One Part 1C Oct 15 2013

In His Service,

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks

 

 

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NOTE: These materials in the AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program are copyright protected therefore you must request permission to reproduce any part of this material. To request permission, please contact Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks: [e-mail].