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“Violence & Abuse” Program Session Summary & Videos
The second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program is the "Violence & Abuse" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session; I will give you the outline of each session down below, with the summary for that section. As before, the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that session.
Click here for the “Violence & Abuse,” complete program teaching, so you can have it when you join us. Again, all of the “Journey of Freedom” Programs, will be held via Zoom every Monday, at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern). Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Click here for Complete “Importance of Forgiveness” Program, so you can have it to study at any time. Although the “Forgiveness” Program has ended, you can always go back and study it anytime. Again, as before, the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that session.
Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 (8-24 to 9-14-2020). Goal: to define violence & abuse. To accomplish this goal, we will:
Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1- Parts...: In Session 1, “Overview & Introduction” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, gives a full explanation of the Program, with the Agenda. And in the sections “List Types of Abuse” and “Define Each Type,” Dr. Hooks explains each:
The "AWM Violence & Abuse Counseling Recovery Program: Getting Beyond the After Effects of Violence & Abuse," is a part of our "Tools for Triumphant Living" Christian Education Program which was developed by Pastor Charlana Kelly)," and the “AWM Counseling Recovery Program.” The purpose of the "AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program," is to help those who are recently out of abusive relationships or is still struggling with the effects from previous abuse. In this recovery program, I will help you through your recovery process one step at a time; this is a program God gave me and I am giving it to you as He gave it to me. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com.
The "AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program" is the second part of the “Journey of Freedom: Pursuing Freedom From The Bondage of Traumatic Experiences" Program, which is a declaration for now and in the future, that you are going to continually pursue your freedom, from whatever that has had you in bondage for years, recently, or at present!! Continually pursuit of your freedom means that you will stay free by any means necessary!! You will no longer tolerate foolishness of any kind!! You will rise up and by God's grace take back everything that the enemy has stolen from you (your self-esteem, your self-worth, your freedom to live life as God designed you to, your boldness God gave you through Jesus, and much, much more)!!
*List Types of Abuse & Define Each Type - Part 1A & Part 1A-1:
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the first meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. Again, to contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 1-Parts 1A & 1A - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1A & 1A-1 - 8-24-2020
"Today I Choose to Heal" Declaration by Pastor Sharon Riley
List of Resources for FL Victims of Domestic Violence & Abuse
List of Resources for Victims of Domestic Violence & Abuse Worl...
Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1B - 8-31-2020): “Cause & Effect of Abuse.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part...: In Session 1, “Cause & Effect of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
* Cause of Abuse: Most times the abuser has been abused themselves. Violence runs from one generation to the other until someone decides to STOP the behavior, receive healing, and begin teaching those within their family how to live free from violence and abuse. So, anger and fear are the root causes for inflicting violence and abuse. Because the abuser fears being out of control, they dominate and controls the victim; exerting their power over and over again. The method the abuser uses with the victim, are the same kind they received when they were abused. They learn other forms of abuse through methods such as: pornography opens the door to sexual abuse/pseudo masochism, etc.
* Effects of Abuse: Victims of violence and abuse often lose all sense of self. They begin to see themselves in the actions and words of their abuser. They will often end up thinking that their life is hopeless and that they somehow deserve to be handled the way the abuser is treating them – the devil always tries to make people hopeless so they can commit suicide. Fear and intimidation are the effects of abuse. Sometimes, victims will become angry and lash out at the abuser, even murdering the perpetrator to end the cycle of abuse.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the second meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1B - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1B - 8-31-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1C – 9-7-2020): “Power Wheel & Examples of Abuse.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part 1C (9-7-2020)(***NO VIDEO THIS WEEK***) : In Session 1, “Power Wheel & Examples of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
The Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse – Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence and these cycles are:
Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the third meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
***Due to Labor Day holiday, session was cancelled. Teaching for this session, was combined with session for 9-14-2020.***
PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1C - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1C - 9-7-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1D – 9-14-2020): “God’s Final Word, & Scriptures & Prayer.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part...: In Session 1, “God’s Final Word, & Scriptures & Prayer” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*God’s Final Word on Generational Sin (Ezekiel 18) – Part 1D: We are going to settle this today; sin (violence and abuse) is repeated from one generation to the next because no one ever stopped the cycle of abuse. This is not perpetuated (carried on by) the hand of God, but by the flesh and the plan of the enemy. The Lord clearly says in Ezekiel 18, turn and live. He does not visit the sins of the father onto the son nor of the Mother onto the daughter; each one will give an account for themselves. We learn the behavior or out of our anger and fear we dominate and control of our own choice. In this class we will help you to learn the triggers and give you tips for handling those who abuse. Lets’ stop the cycle now! Turn away from our ways, acknowledge, repent and forgive. Receive healing and go on living a healthy and happy life with the grace of God.
*Prayer from Scripture
* Prayer Against Domestic Violence
* "Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?"
You or someone you know, may have asked the same question; "Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?" I am going to give you the answer, Dr. Margaret Paul, gave to her clients. Here is an excerpt, from the article, “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?” Dr. Paul’s complete article will be attached to this session’s summary, in the blog section of our website: www.abusedwoman.ning.com, titled, “Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond!”
“I am often asked by my clients, ‘If God is all powerful, why didn't he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle or a stranger) from abusing me? Why does he allow all this abuse to go on?’”
The question indicates that the person does not understand what God is, which means he or she would not understand Mother Theresa's statement, "God has no hands but these."
Many people have been programmed to believe that God is a person in the sky who can stop people from doing awful things.
God is love, God is Spirit. God has no hands, so we must be the hands of God. The love that is God is always here, always ready to enter our hearts when our hearts are open to love. However, since we all have free will, we all decide when to open or close our heart. God cannot enter a closed heart. God comes into our hearts by invitation, and we invite God into our hearts when our intent is to be loving to ourselves and to others.
Abusers have closed their hearts to God. Their intent is to protect themselves against their own pain through some form of controlling behavior. God cannot guide them because their hearts are closed. When a person closes their heart, they cut off their empathy and compassion. They stop caring about the effect they have on others, and can therefore do untold harm."
Therefore, the answer to the question, “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse,” is because the abuser has free will and God cannot reach a person, who has closed their heart to Him. YES, God is ALL POWERFUL, but He is a LOVING God, who does not force us to do anything we don’t want to. God is NOT a tyrant!! God is NOT a bully!! God DOES NOT walk around with a big stick, forcing people to do things out of their will!! God is a GOOD God, and He loves us very much!!
Abusers have no fear of God or anyone else; they love to blame the victim for their actions; they are NOT willing to take responsibility for what they do!! Their hearts are closed to God and everyone else; they are self-centered – they only think about themselves! See my complete answer in the PDF version at the end, of this teaching.
If you or someone you know, are in a domestic relationship, does not matter what kind, I suggest you reach out for help!! Begin to turn to God, look, listen, and watch for His instructions; but don’t just sit there, you put your faith in action and begin to reach out to agencies and organizations for help. Here is some national information for domestic violence victims to obtain help:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-787-3224 - TTY) or if you cannot talk on the phone, go to the website, https://www.thehotline.org/ and chat, or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - https://ncadv.org/do-you-think-youre-being-abused
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the fourth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021.vZoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1D - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1D - 9-14-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 2, Part 2A – 9-21-2020): “Review Previous Section” & “Premise Before Next Section.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 (9-21 to 10-5-2020). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:
Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Part...: In Session 2, “Review Previous Section & Premise Before Next Section” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, explains each:
*Review Previous Section – Part 2A:
Types of Abuse:
*Cause & Effect of Abuse:
* Read Premise before you start – Part 2A: God always provides a way of escape (Psalm 71:2). To be empowered with information about adverse situations, is to be prepared to respond in a healthy manner that will keep you free from violence and abuse. It is important that we begin to recognize abuse and understand its cycles. No one deserves to be abused. We each have a right to live a healthy, happy, violence free life. We are empowered to do so, when we understand our personal rights and take control of our own life; therefore, becoming the steersman of our future.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the fifth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 2-Part 2A - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2A - 9-21-2020
The next week’s Topic (Session 2, Parts 2B & 2B-1 9-28-2020): “List ways to recognize abuse” & “Learn & Understand the Cycles of Abuse,” will not have a video; that session is cancelled but I will include that week’s teaching, with the week of 9-21-2020 teaching. Thank you all!!
***NO VIDEO FOR THIS SESSION. THIS SESSION WAS COMBINED WITH SEPT 21ST SESSION***
PDF Handouts for Session 2-Parts 2B & 2B-1 – 9-28-2020 (Click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2B & 2B-1 - 9-28-2020
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Parts 2B & 2B-1 (9-28-2020) (***NO VIDEO; was combined with 9-21-2020 session***): In Session 2, “List ways to recognize abuse” & “Learn & Understand the Cycles of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*List ways to recognize abuse – Part 2B:
PHYSICAL Does your partner?.... |
EMOTIONAL Does your partner?.... |
SEXUAL Does your partner?.... |
- Push or shove |
- Ignore your feelings |
- Tell jokes |
- hold you down |
- make fun of you |
- makes demeaning remarks |
- slap or bite |
- insult your family/friends |
- gets jealous (form of control) |
- kick or choke |
- embarrass you in public |
- forces unwanted sexual acts |
- hit or punch |
- call you name or shout |
|
- throw objects |
- control your action |
|
- abandon/threaten/hurt you |
- lie/manipulate |
|
|
- threaten you w/weapons |
|
*Learn and understand the Cycles of Abuse – Part 2B-1:
The cycles of abuse are tension building, explosion and love. Each phase will increase in time and intensify the longer the abuse goes on. Let’s look at what happens during these cycles so that we can help you recognize each cycle so you will know them to prevent this abuse from happening again.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the sixth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com.
Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 2-Parts 2B & 2B-1 - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2B & 2B-1 - 9-28-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 2, Part 2C 9-28-2020): “Explore how to STOP the Cycle of Abuse” & “Establish a Personal Bill of Right.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Part C (10-5-2020): In Session 2, “Explore how to STOP the Cycle of Abuse” & “Establish a Personal Bill of Right” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*The Three “G’s” of Stopping the Cycle of Abuse – Part 2C
For change to come, change must take place. The victim of abuse must remove themselves from the situation in order for help to be received.
*Establish Your Personal Bill of Rights – Part 2C
Now you will read the Personal Bill of Rights pledge on the next page; it is pertinent for any situation in your life. It is important to learn your rights as a human being, then don’t allow others to treat you in any way that jeopardizes your rights. The best way to handle any kind of abuse is to remove yourself from the situation and the person who is speaking or acting in a way that demeans who you are.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the seventh meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 2-Part 2C - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2C - 10-5-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3A 10-12-2020): “Understand Why Abusers Abuse” & “Understand Why the Victims Stay.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3A (10-12-2020): In Session 3, “Understand Why Abusers Abuse & “Understand Why the Victims Stay” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*Read Session Foundation – Part 3A: Breaking the cycle of abuse begins with acknowledgement of where you are, and what your responsibilities, in a situation are. Even the victim must recognize why they stay in a violent and abusive situation. When we acknowledge our own issues aside from the other person’s then we can make a decision about how to change the behavior that keeps us locked in the cycle of abuse. Scripture basis: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of a wiser man…Proverbs 11:29 TLB. So, you can say, the person who provokes anyone to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.
* Why do people abuse? – Part 3A: Characteristics of the perpetrator – lack of communication; poor self-image; jealousy; cultural upbringing; alcohol and/or drugs; mental illness; power & control; learned behavior.
Note: 35% of people who abuse do so while under the influence of alcohol (Alcohol Use and Abuse Statistics).
*Why do victims stay? – Part 3A:
1. Fear - What do they fear? – Loss of life; children being hurt; not being able to make it on their own; not knowing where they will go; being considered a failure in the relationship.
2. Children - Belief that children need both parents; do not want children to suffer financial hardships; if children are not abused then they are okay. But the children are abused, they are being abused every time the abuser abuses you; the trauma of seeing you get beat over and over will haunt them later if they do not receive counseling. Because abuse is a learned behavior, remember? So, they will grow up becoming an abuser or becoming a victim if they do not receive help also after you leave the abuser.
3. Economic dependency - The strategy of the abuser is to keep you there with them and they will do everything they can to accomplish their purpose. You think they married you or got into a relationship with you for “love” but sorry to disappoint you, you were an easy “mark” for them. They saw the neediness in you (looking for love) and you became to them someone they can totally manipulate and control.
4. Religious/cultural beliefs - Feels separation and divorce are wrong; already sought help from clergy and were told it was their lot in life or stay and pray; failed marital counseling.
5. Low self-esteem - Devalued; isolated; taking responsibility for the abuse; believe it is the best they can have; shame; feels trapped.
Some other reasons why victims of domestic violence stay are, shame; toxic love; hope for change; no place to go; denial, denial, denial… It also says something about you, you do not value yourself as a human being. You are not seeing that you are “fearfully and wonderfully” made in the image of God. And you will only see that once you are out of the abusive relationship. After God has cleaned you up from the filth of the relationship, He will begin to open your eyes to who you are; you must come out though from the “drama,” so you can clearly see.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the eighth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3A - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3A - 10-12-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3B 10-19-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse.”
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3B (10-19-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Part 3B:
Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the “silent treatment”), manipulate, and control. There are many ways to abuse: to love too much is a form of abuse – it is the same as treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification (you have made that person your god).
Other forms of abuse: to be over-protective, not to respect privacy, and to be brutally honest, with a sadistic (cruel; vicious) sense of humor, or consistently tactless.
To expect too much, to put down or degrade, are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and sexual abuse; the list is long. Most abusers abuse covertly (sneakily; underhandedly); they are “stealth abusers.” You have to actually live with one in order to witness the abuse.
*Important Categories of Abuse: Overt & Covert or Controlling Abuse – Part 3B:
So the abuser’s main goal in the “relationship” is to obtain what he never had as a child: power and control to be himself; he was always told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, his option did not matter, scolded, verbal abused, physical abused, emotional abused, etc. His life as a child was a living nightmare and he will do anything he can to take control of his life (childhood). He is living in the past and thinks abusing you will fix his childhood situation.
Independent or disobedient people evoke in the abuser the realization that something is wrong with his worldview, that he is not the center of the world or its cause and that he cannot control what, to him, are internal representations (you represent him).
To the abuser, using control means going insane. Because other people are mere elements in the abuser’s mind — being unable to manipulate them literally means losing it (his mind). Imagine, if you suddenly were to find out that you cannot manipulate your memories or control your thoughts. Nightmarish! In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to a myriad (countless) of fiendishly (diabolical; cunning and malicious) inventive stratagems (clever schemes) and mechanisms (the abuser is TOTALLY controlled by the devil).
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the ninth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3B - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3B - 10-19-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3C 10-26-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).
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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3C (10-26-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Important Categories of Abuse Covert or Controlling Abuse (continued) – Part 3C:
Here is a partial list of the abuser’s fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms:
TIP – Refuse to accept such behavior. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, likings, preferences, and priorities.
This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of “justice” meted and judgment passed — on the abuser — are thus guaranteed.
TIP - Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and unpredictable behavior. If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.
TIP – Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable (ravenous; greedy). Do not succumb to blackmail. If things get rough - disengage, involve Law Enforcement Officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally; sue). Do not! Keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon (that’s why he wants to isolate you). Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the tenth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3C - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3C - 10-26-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3D 11-2-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).
************************************************************************************
Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3D (11-2-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Important Categories of Abuse:
Partial list of the abusers’ fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms (continued) – Part 3D:
TIP - Be guarded. Don’t be too forthcoming in a first or casual meeting. Gather intelligence. Be yourself. Don’t misrepresent your wishes, boundaries, preferences, priorities, and red lines. Do not behave inconsistently. Do not go back on your word. Be firm and resolute.
TIP - Stay away from such quagmires. Scrutinize every offer and suggestion, no matter how innocuous. Prepare backup plans. Keep others informed of your whereabouts and apprised of your situation. Be vigilant and doubting. Do not be gullible and suggestible. Better safe than sorry.
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the eleventh meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3D - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3D - 11-2-2020
Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2 11-9-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).
************************************************************************************
Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Parts 3D-1 & 3D2 (11-9-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:
*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Important Categories of Abuse:
Partial list of the abusers’ fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms (continued) – Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2:
Another form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, disgrace, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.
TIP - Often the abusers’ proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser. Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you (not in the sense of getting even but use tactics to expose him; once the enemy is exposed, he will either give up or run away. However, most likely, the abuser will not give up but runaway; to his next “mark” to make them a victim.) Involve others. Bring it into the open. Nothing like sunshine to disinfest abuse (stop the secret abuse).
TIP - Run! Get away! Ambient abuse often develops to overt and violent abuse. You don’t owe anyone an explanation - but you owe yourself a life, BAIL OUT.
Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, and psychological sexual, or financial. It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviors, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders.
Conclusion: This concludes the “Violence & Abuse” Recovery Program!
Handout on “Long Term Effects of Violence & Abuse” Attached!
Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.
This is the twelfth and final meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program. The next program will be the “Anger Management” Program, which will begin January 11, 2021 and go until February 8th. All subsequent sessions will be held as usual via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be May 17, 2021. There are two more parts to the “Journey of Freedom” Program, after “Anger Management,” which are “Emotional Healing,” and “Unholy Matrimony Book Discuss.”
Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 890 4165 4195 - Password: 930178
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.
A certificate of completion will be awarded upon the successful completion of the “Journey of Freedom” Program by Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, and Minister James will also award a certificate of completion, per his guidelines of the course. For more information about Minister James’ guidelines of the course, please contact him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com, or go his website, https://eastern-missouri-bible-college.mn.co.
Everett James, Th.D.
Eastern Missouri Bible College
PDF Handouts for Session 3-Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2 - (click below):
"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3D-1 & 3D-2 -11-9-2020
Click here for PDF version of DV Program 2020 & Beyond
Click here for PDF version of the Complete DV Program (Hand Out Attached)
I pray this program will be a blessing to you, and that God will deliver, heal, and restore you from ALL unforgiveness, including against yourself, and ALL the effects of the domestic violence or other traumatic events you have suffered! If you still in an abusive relationship of ANY kind, please seek help!! I pray for your continual healing and restoration, for any and all things that keeps you from following after God!
If you have any questions, contact me at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org or Minister Everette James at embiblecollege@yahoo.com.
God's Blessings to you all and your families,
Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
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