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Emotional Healing Through Dealing with Past Issues – Part 1C
October 26, 2012
NOTE: REMEMBER, as previously stated, this series was written on October 1st and God has delivered me since then; I wrote it as it was given to me at that time!
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A friend of mine once wrote a blog entitled, “Junk In Your Trunk;” we all have “junk” in our trunk from one thing or another. This is the story of the junk that was in my trunk, and it is not one that is easy for me to write; I am writing this in between tears because of the pain of what happened to me. But that’s okay, I know God is taking everything that the devil meant for evil and turning it around for my good!! It is ALL working in my favor!! I have to face my pain in order to be totally free and so I can help you face what you have to deal with.
When God begin revealing to me what was going on with me a couple of weeks ago, I was fighting it – I did not want to deal with those things – they were too painful. I then realize that God had been trying to get me to deal with those things before but I refused.
Now, I am at a place in my life where I have no choice but to deal with the rest of the things from my past; I am at a crossroad in my life where I must choose to let go of ALL of my past hurtful memories so God can move me forward OR keep them and hinder the move of God in my life – I choose to deal with them and let them and people who caused me pain go!! God has told me more than once, others have prophesied and I have had open visions that He has a great call on my life but I cannot move forward until these past issues are settled!!
I am writing this here alone (no other human) in my room at the Resort; I thought I was getting away to relax this weekend (Sept 29th – Oct 2nd 2012) but God wanted me to get away to be alone with Him. I knew I had to get alone with God sooner or later so He could finish what He started while I was away; He was tugging at my heart in Atlanta and New Jersey – could not sleep. I have been running from these issues (the ones I knew) because I don’t like confrontation, drama, arguing, etc.; I went through enough of that in the abusive marriages so now I try to keep the peace. However, as my ex-Pastor use to say, “Peace at any cost is not peace but bondage.” In me trying to keep peace with the person or persons who are responsible for my hurts, I am the one who gets hurt the most by refusing to tell her/him how I feel – I have not been assertive enough and when a person is not assertive, they are either passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive. God does not want us to keep things bottled up inside, trying to keep peace that way. Yes, God wants us to cast ALL our cares, worries and concerns upon Him because He cares for us but He also wants us to communicate with people in an assertive way to let them know when they hurt us – speak up for ourselves; if we do not respect ourselves, no one else will either. We got to think of ourselves as being important and don’t allow people to dictate to us our importance!! We must not think others are more important than we are!! Another thing we should not do is do more for others than we would do for ourselves. For example, if we are willing to spend $100 on someone else without feeling guilty, we should be willing to spend $100 on ourselves; we must not value others more than we value our own selves. God wants us to see ourselves as He does; we are valuable to Him but we cannot see that unless we get the “junk” out of our trunk, which is blinding us to this fact.
Emotional Healing Series - Part 1D will be posted by October 27, 2012
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