Frosted Flakes Might Not Be That Great But Neither Are They All That Bad

[Frederick Meekins]

The cover of the 3/2/15 edition of Businessweek depicts Tony the Tiger in a gas mask recoiling in horror at the sight of the frosted flakes he has shilled for decades.

Reworking his classic catchphrase, he declares, “THEY'RE GR-R-ROSS!”

Additional copy on the cover reads, “Carbs, sugar and stubbornness are killing Kellogg.”

How is this dietary staple any more disgusting than these so-called “health foods”?

“Organic” is simply a euphemism for having been grown in digestive excrement.

The same hipsters and neo-beatniks vowing never to feed these breakfast confections to their own spawn certainly had no problem pigging out on these foods in their own childhoods.

It has always been said sausage is a food that you do not want to see being made.

Apparently the same is true now in regards to breakfast cereal in a world where what constitutes nutrition is as much about embracing the proper politics as about keeping a body energized.

A government panel suggested that Americans cut back on the consumption of meat not so much as a way to prevent clogged arteries but rather to prevent global warming.

Interestingly enough, this proclamation was handed down amidst the coldest winter temperatures in years.

If Businessweek insists on being this blatantly honest regarding what we are eating for breakfast, do the editors intend to be as graphically startling as to what transpires in the average abortion clinic or during gay rights parades?

By Frederick Meekins