God Wants Us In Healthy Relationships!! Part 2

[Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

In the words of the old song “’Can’t Nobody Do Me Like Jesus’ – can’t nobody do me like Jesus, can’t nobody do me like the Lord, can’t nobody do me like Jesus, He’s my friend…picked me up and turned me around….” Can’t NOBODY do me like Jesus, can’t nobody love me like Jesus; there is NOBODY I can call in the middle of the night to get comforted; NOBODY is there when I need them the most but Jesus!! I can call on Him at any time day or night and in between and He will be there for me and answer my prayer!!!

Again, another old song I remember, “’If You Call On Jesus, He Will Answer Prayer’ if you call on Jesus He will answer prayer…call Him Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, He will answer prayer…” This is so true, Jesus will answer our prayers; if we seek Him we will find Him when we seek Him with ALL our heart!! And I have decided to seek after Jesus with ALL my heart because He is the ONLY One who can help me; NOT man!!!! Man will try to deceive you or will not keep their word (this is by choice – I remember the older people use to say when I was growing up “Your word is your bond”) but NOT Jesus!!!

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Righteousness ONLY comes through Jesus - Jesus has given us His righteousness so accept Him as your personal Lord and Savior and you will become the righteousness of God through Him) and everything else will be added unto you (Matt 6:33)!!!

I have included some additional information which will help you recognize healthy relationships; even a quiz for you to take to see whether you are in healthy relationships. These are guidelines for you to see what a healthy relationship looks like; I am not telling anyone to break any relationships you are in – be led by the Holy Spirit!! I feel God wanted me to share this information with you to help you not be abused or to sell yourself short just to be loved by someone or to be friends with someone; it is NOT worth it – God loves you unconditionally so don’t allow yourself to be abused for love or any other reason!! Ask God to put the people in your life He wants to be there and remove the ones that are not supposed to be there and He will do it; He did it for me and He will do it for you!! I have been praying that prayer since January 2007 after I heard Dr. Myles Munroe say it; he said if you have people in your life who are always subtracting or dividing from your life, move on – ask God to take people out of your life who do not need to be there and put the people who do need to there – who God want in your life!! If you are a giver and are connected to a taker that is NOT a healthy relationship!! Relationships are not to be one sided; one person doing all the giving and the other doing all the taking!! 

I know a lot of times we ourselves get into relationships, especially marriages, and say “Oh, God put us together.” No, you put your own selves together and even if it is abusive you stay for 20, 30, or more years! God DOES NOT condone abusive relationships!!

I am just the presenter of this message and what you do with it is between you and God! As I have said before, ask the Holy Spirit what you should do if you find out that you are not in a healthy relationship!!!

 

Below is the Healthy Relationship Equality Wheel taken from http://www.advocates-oz.org/powerandcontrolprintable.htm:

                    

Trust and Support - Both partners encourage each other's goals, acknowledge talents and strengths, value feelings and opinions even when different from their own, respect privacy, and listen non-judgmentally.

Non-threatening Behavior - Both partners talk and act so the other feels comfortable expressing his/her opinions and making his/her own decisions. Both always feel safe around the other.

Sexual Safety - Both partners are able to say "no" to any sexual behavior they are not comfortable with, honor and respect each other's sexual decisions and communicate about sex. My thought – sex  is for marriage only; I believe as the Bible when it comes to sex – it is not supposed to happen outside of marriage!! Some of the Scriptures for this is 1 Cor. 6:9, 1 Cor. 10:8 and Eph. 5:3.

Financial/Economic Independence - Both partners control their own money and have equal control of household money. When gifts are given, they are given freely and without expectation for anything in return. There are no demands for money or material items.

Negotiation and Fairness - Both partners have equal decision-making power and are willing to compromise. Rules and agreements are made together and apply equally to both.

Responsible Parenting - Both partners communicate and make responsible decisions about pregnancy. If parenting, both share responsibilities and are positive, non-violent role models for children.

Honesty and Accountability - Both partners accept responsibility for their own actions, acknowledge mistakes and admit when wrong, communicate openly and truthfully, trust each other and are trustworthy.

Connections with Others - Both partners maintain friendships and family relationships, enjoy activities outside of their relationship and make their own decisions about where they go, what they do and who they are with. My thought – be an individual person – you are whole and don’t need anyone to complete you!! You are complete in Christ!!

Click here for PDF version

In His Service,

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks